Evan+P


 * No Longer Existing **

**By:Evan P. **

**The ocean is the worst place to live; well at least there are other foods that have the same fate. Let me tell you how I got here. **


 * My name is Evan and I am a beautiful loaf of bread, fresh and soft (well at least I was!). I had made a really stupendous friend. His name was Dorky the Dummy! Yes, he was bread, too. He wasn’t much of a friend but, I’ll count him in. We were at the very front...no back.@#$%! .Yeah, I can’t fool anyone, and yes, I am very high tempered. Well, on with the story. I got all the fame and glory. Everybody praised me. I was like a king, but all that ended when somebody bought us. **


 * This is the part when I became, NO LONGER EXISTING. It was a really dark day and I was in a very bad mood. Dorky kept on trying to cheer me up. Then, I heard a big GOO GOO, and a GA, GA. The baby going to eat us! Then I found myself screaming: “GO FOR THE CAKE!” over and over and Dorky joined in until I said just “GO FOR THE STUPID CAKE”, but you know toddlers, they don’t know anything except how to make a peanut butter sandwich (which is pretty impressive). Just having the peanut butter touch me made me scream. I screamed and screamed until the peanut butter told me to shut up. Then there was the jelly, and finally Dorky joined the club. I said I can’t see! Then Dorky described the surroundings until I felt little short fingers that dug into me. **


 * Dorky screamed and then I screamed too. The pearly white **teeth ** were chomping on us. We saw a horrible roller coaster entrance. Then I was sprayed with the ickiest stuff ever. I was soaking wet. Next, I was torn from limb from limb (even though I don’t have any). I was a soggy, gloppy mess. As I was headed down the **esophagus **, I was saying “this is the slowest roller coaster ever”. I felt kind of squeezed as I traveled downward. Then I hit the **stomach **. OW! That acid was hot. I yelled,” What’s the big idea?” Oh well, I guess I’ll get over it. Now, I’m just a blob. As I traveled through the **small intestine **, I had nutrients taken out of me. I felt so depleted and empty. I was just a blob with water. I entered the **large intestine **next. I was just a dried up blob waiting for the kid to poop. I can’t believe how long that kid could hold it. All of a sudden, I began to feel squeezed and pushed. It was a slow process. Finally, I was pushed out, but then, the kid sat down and I became flat as a pancake! I laid in the dark, wet, and smelly diaper and waited for the kid to have his diaper changed. Finally, I was dumped in the toilet during the diaper change. With a flush and a whoosh, I ended up here, in the deep, dark, blue ocean. (Shouldn’t I have gone to a processing plant?). **