Jayden

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__ Peanut Butter Jayden Time __

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This is the story of how I got to live! I give a big thank you to the humans for allowing it to happen. Oh. I’m sorry. I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Ninbread VI. Anyway, I was just plain, white bread. I think I should tell you that I am very famous. Why, you ask? Because I invented the sacred art of Tae Kwon Dough (Tie Kwon Dough). Anyway, I had other plans than just sitting around in a bread bag. I wanted to go on a journey to another bag, learn their customs, or go inside a human. Actually, I’m not from Jelly-O. I’m from Breadnut. So, I was with my cousin and friend, Kyle, and we were having a fun time practicing Tae Kwon Dough. That’s right. We could move around because the human, Jayden, liked to shape us into bread men, which gave us great flexibility. =====

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One day, Jelly-O received news Jayden was heading to our cupboard for food! Kyle and I were in front of the bag too! I was FINALLY going to get to go on and adventure! Once everyone got inside the bag, Jayden opened up the cupboard, grabbed Kyle and me, and set us down onto his counter. I saw him make way to the refrigerator, grab peanut butter and jelly, set them next to me, and went to get a knife. “So, how’s Jelly-O, Ninbread” Jelly asked? Oh, have I told you Jelly (blueberry) tells everyone about what’s what outside the cupboard, so I get to talk to him a lot. “Great, but it’ll never be as good as Breadnut.” I replied. “SHH! BE QUIET! JAYDEN’S COMING BACK!” That was Peanut. She’s as much as a nut as Macadamia. Jayden found a butter knife to spread Kyle and me with peanut butter and jelly. I was spread with blueberry jelly and Kyle peanut butter, and set me on top of Kyle. As he was bringing us to his mouth, I heard Jelly whisper good luck to us, and I said, “Thanks.” And Jayden bit down. =====

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I haven’t been this excited since I beat up Nora the Explorer. She’s not even an explorer! Sure it hurt as Jayden bit down on us. “I heard screaming a few weeks back. I was watching Lime Time that two bread, Jamie and Tally, disappeared.” Kyle said. All I had in reply was “Hm.”. Just now the salivary glands sprayed us with saliva. I felt like I was taking a shower. Bye now Jayden had chewed us up into nothing but mush, and we were on our way down the esophagus. =====

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Down, down, down, we went to the esophagus, and I said,”Hey we’re a bolus now!” Kyle was too busy going “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” to respond. “STOP, STOP, STOP STOOOOOOOOOP!” said the man who loved going on roller logs twice as much faster than this. KER-PLUNK! We hit the stomach in a short time, but not to Kyle. He thought it took 4 hours, but it was really 7 seconds. “Oh, this couldn’t get worse.” Kyle groaned. Then it did. We were sprayed by hydrochloric acid, pepsinogen, and other weird stuff. We were going to be chemically digested. Just then, a couple of watermelons came down. “This happened to my mum and dad.” The first one said. “Yeah, they’re alive at Blooberry Beach right now. Hope you end up there!” The second one said, and they went under the liquid. Muscular contractions were now breaking us down more than I ever thought we could, then we were mixed with stomach secretions, and Kyle was muttering to himself “I’m not a bolus anymore I’m not a bolus anymore” So I told him that we are now something called chyme: a thick liquid. Kyle, happy, pointed out we were leaving the small, confined stomach and into the small intestine. “All right! Now it’s time for some action!” I said. =====

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As we exited through the pyloric sphincter, we entered the small intestine. The watermelons were right in front of us, and they explained that most of the nutrient absorption will take place here. “Hey… this is still a confined area. Ninbread, didn’t you say this was 22 feet long?” Kyle whined. “Kyle, I meant if it was put in a straight and was outside of Jayden’s body. That’s why it’s called the small intestines.” I said to him. And guess what? We got sprayed by ANOTHER thing- the watermelons claimed is called bile. That comes from the pancreas. Kyle was actually a little happy to be chyme. Don’t ask me why. Anyway, so we were just continuing through the intestines. “Look, Kyle. Our nutrients are getting absorbed into the lumen.” I said. “Gimme back my nutrients! GIMME!” roared Kyle as we entered the large intestines. The watermelons told us we were passing through the Ascending Colon, Transverse Colon, Descending Colon, Sigmoid Colon, and… Cecum. At long last, we finally passed through them all and now in the feces, after all some of the water and salt got absorbed in the large intestines. To end this, we are now in the rectum and came out of the... anus. =====

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Hey, you found me! It’s me, Ninbread! So here I am, at Blooberry Beach. Now I get to share the sacred art, Tae Kwon Dough to another location! I’m going to Orange Fields next, and then coming back here. Right now I am playing volleyball with Kyle, reformed and having fun. But, uh, to all you bread, don’t tan yourself. You’ll become toast. Just so we’re clear, I am still bread. Did you know Blooberry Beach is a hidden beach for discarded foods? I even found Jamie and Tally here! This beach is really hard to find. Ooh. It’s 10:00! That's when they serve sweet, delicious ice cream. See ya later! Me: “Hey, Mint Ice cream, you single? Sweet! Wanna go out to dinner? They’re serving yeast and ice! Awesome! See you at 6:00.” =====

The End